When I come to sort this lot out, I may put it into more accessible order – who knows? I do as I like as far as I like – this is what I am practising these days.
This is for real, you know.
It’s not tit-for-tat.
It’s not you-do-for-me and then I-do-for-you.
It’s not some posh networking.
Let’s get real, I could say, but I used that word back there.
Let’s tell-it-like-it-is, I could say, but I’ve never understood what that phrase means, and the first time I heard it, a guy who later gave me some huge trouble used it – along with a high-five which – I didn’t know what that was – it was a new-out expression – oh, come on –
I’d say – how-?-can-you-get (lost the word there) – but it was new-out then – one of those cool-things. ‘Cool’ is all right in its own circumstances, but I – if I’m honest – I’m not so keen on ‘cool’ – very much because I feel the heat, in fact, more often than not –
Here I am.
It is quarter past eight or thereabouts, in the morning – I’m not looking at my watch on this occasion – the exact time no longer always signifies in particular –
I get sick, sometimes, of using the same old words, don’t you?
But they fit with where I am now – and I suppose, without me having noticed it, this has turned into one of those early-morning (just got up) free-flows of writing, which are useful – they empty your mind, and show you where you are – words splash on to the page – unexpected ones, sometimes – it’s almost like taking a cold bath, except that I never take those.
A splash of hot tears – that is more like it.
Indulgence hardly comes into this.
Necessity is the King – and now I know for definite where I am.