A post I wrote before . . .

Yes – after the NaNo finish – I’m still trying to find myself – there was this blank.

I wrote, and didn’t post – ‘It’s getting to be quite artificial now trying to reach the word-count, which is a number more fictitious than the fiction you are trying to create.

‘I’m close to the 50,000 now, and there is no validation process this year, for which I am glad.

‘Put in that para.’

That last part, there – it was a note to myself – i’m not sure where that ‘para’ is now – but I remember I wrote that I would need to think about that – why I did have qualms about validation.

The website was all over the place – and it still is – I’m supposed to get – is it equivalent to some sticker I can put on my site?  And – other things.

And I don’t care.

But the validation – you uploaded your words, they went to their server and back – to be counted – and no human eyes got to look them over.

I still felt as though I didn’t trust the process, and I’m not tech-savvy enough to be able to explain that.

It is very important to me – more than that – it is of the utmost importance to me that my writing remains my own.  It has to be – not for reasons of ‘I am so good’ but because of what I am writing about, only so much of which I have said at this point.

The words I use can say it, in a metaphorical way.

NaNoWriMo – I very strongly felt that I wanted to do it – I’m glad I’m a member of the site and can go back there, when I want, to look around, check into forums, but I don’t care about the winner badge.  I don’t need the outside accoutrements.  I’ve done it.  I know I’ve done it.  This is as much as I can say for now – I’m still working through this huge velocity of space I have found . . .

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