That is something that you, if you are me, don’t want to look into.
But it’s anxiety, and probably attached to other issues rather than just to the NaNo.
I’m probably filtering deep anxieties through the NaNo – because this is what I do. I know that. I know myself that well.
But I decided to do the NaNo as something through which to continue this quest of finding myself, discovering what those anxieties are in my deep-down places that sometimes cripple me.
I must hunt them out.