I’ve been busy, I could say, bright and breezy.

And that would be true but I am always busy.  I write every day.

The thing is, I’ve been at odds with myself.

I can surmise how this came about – someone appearing on my scene who had been gone for a while and then turned up – and I couldn’t be sure of her.  But I couldn’t be sure of my unsurety of her, either.

I didn’t know what to think.

And, meanwhile, I dropped into that slough, and had no recourse but to wallow there, until I had the confidence to think – no, I am right – she is wrong, even if it is difficult finding where she is.  I must believe in myself, I thought.

There are set procedures.  There are procedures that become set within new practices.  I’m thinking about blogging here; the word ‘corporate’ came into my head there, but I barely know what that means.  My ignorance in – I don’t know – the gears of how the world works – I’m not as ignorant as I once was – I have the newspaper now and I’m still interested in that – enough to go out for it every day – but I’m at an age when it often happens, from what I’ve seen – this interest in the world that you didn’t have time for when you were ensconced in your – I’m lost in this thought and frantically jotting down, as I frequently do, in fact – if I lose that sense of self-consciousness.

Yes.  I need to lose that.

Write and cross out –

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