I’m pretty much not sure what to write next, so disrupted do I feel.
The insomnia, yes – but that was a three-pronged point of culmination. I had a cold. It was a worse cold than I’d had for some time. Colds were doing the rounds. It was a knock-out one where I’d go for a ‘little lie-down’ and – bang – I’d be away, sleeping for hours. And then again – I’d go and lie down and – bang –
My lack of consciousness over this was weird – I didn’t seem to learn from past – recent – experience. It was as though the cold itself took over – if I’d been out in the street I’d have dropped down –
No. I exaggerate.
But it was a strong cold.
And I couldn’t eat!
I ‘made myself’ eat, but the spoonful of cauliflower cheese in the middle of a vast plate – it looked alien, as though it could never belong to me, never become a part of me.
Oh – all this only lasted in its ferocity for a few days – but it did put me out – and then there was a long recovery of a few weeks where a sore breathing tube extended its distress to my chest from which . . .
Sorry. (Got to apologise.) You probably feel sick with all this detail.
Maybe that was why, with all that sleeping over two or three days – yes, that, I see, saved to the other extreme – insomnia, full blown, for three nights running –
I’m making this up as I go along but I think it sounds plausible – maybe that was it.
I’m in the process of filling in my old pond in the garden.
There is a lack of soil but the two pot-ponds are almost in, and I have discovered, at the other end, a lined sunken bit that was going to be, I remember now, my bog garden.
That didn’t exactly work out all those years ago – which reminds me – I did have a candleabra-whatsit-whatsit there – looks like I’ve lost it.
You can’t harbour them all.
Anyway – there was compacted soil in that dread spot, which I have dug out, and put in some of the old-pond space.
I have many and varied pebbles from a (nearby) sands, which should not have been taken, but there was the cat then, and the fish in the water, and something of a barrier had to be made between the two – but I am getting into my history too much – that is already written – somewhere. I need large coffers – no, that’s not quite it – chests – to keep my writing pages in – yes – I have it all on paper as well as on USB sticks and on the computer-proper – no, it’s a desktop –