This is what I was thinking yesterday, and I may or may not get this straight. Nothing is ever perfect, but I generally know when to leave what I’ve written – when it appears as something of an ‘artistic whole’ (even though I don’t entirely believe in that notion). I may or may not tell you if I think I have achieved that – this is now on the hoof –
What I was thinking – it’s funny (I was thinking) – when I read, I don’t really read for content – I don’t think I do – I can be oblivious to content (or, it is secondary) –
And – but what I’ve just said – that can’t apply to thrillers and horror and fantasy or science fiction that I read specifically so that I can turn the pages and find out what happened, can it? –
Ah – I’ve been in this spot before where I try to wrap things around – say – yes, this applies to me; this is how I am –
Only to find instances or occasions when I don’t seem to be that way at all –
And then you can worry in case you are lying – but you never are – or, on the odd occasion when you might find that a necessity – you do know you are doing it – and there is a reason –
No – if I catch myself saying something that doesn’t seem to apply to something else I have espoused elsewhere – I am all unaware. It is a rarity indeed that I lie outright – and I can say that about myself.
But – leave this track now, and get back to what I was thinking yesterday –
I can be oblivious to content in what I read.
I can be carried away by sound, or rhythm.
A pervasive soft shushing sound in something I read yesterday – there was an accuracy, in it, of being a certain age – I picked up on that much – I admired the courage it must have taken to admit to that –
But it was the shushing, the softness of the expression that got me – the gentle round the edges.
And I commented, on an impulse.
Just that I loved it – the post.
And then I went back, later – maybe something was bothering me –
And some of the other comments – brought me up short.
They were to do with the content of the post – which I had hardly picked up on at all (except for a few bare bones) – content which had been, to me, hardly important.
It sounded like a gentlemen’s club, and I wondered if I would have been welcome at all – really – or – in what capacity.
Maybe I should stop commenting off the cuff.
But, on the other hand, some of these blog-people I comment with –
And this is where I break down – I have ‘I might or probably seem odd in some way – it is like, as though, but – we are on different pages.’
And I have ‘Might seem weird. But I get a lot of insight from commenting – in this way – with not much –’
Not my problem.